The skinny is...

My most recent developments:

Surgery approval - CHECK
4 hr class w scary and way too much information - CHECK
Surgery scheduled - not yet -- WTF! Aetna's approval expires 12/5 so I am using my deductive reasoning skills to figure it'll be done by then...

I have to get a bevvy of tests beforehand for my 'baseline' -- blood, EKG, chest xray... hopefully nothing that involves forcing me to run a treadmill until I fall off...

OK so the good stuff -- liver shrinking diet for 2 weeks pre-surgery - shrinks your liver by 1/3rd by burning off all the sugar and so you convert to burning fat (ketosis)...

Liver Shrinking Diet --
Protein shake - Slim Fast High Protein, Boost Optima -- some carbs but few... approx 15g protein
Snack -- fruit
Protein shake -- same as above
Snack - 1/2 cup cottage cheese, yogurt (no fruit/sugar added crap) or 1 skim mozz cheese stick
Meal -- 4oz protein (anything but red/fatty meats), unlimited veggies -- no oils or fats for dressing -- they recommend 10squirts of those salad spritzer thingers... never had them - I hope they don't SUCK...

Ok onto some other whackyass stuff you have to do... I have this breathy thing to ensure I keep deep breathing post surgery -- I also am walking around every 2hrs at least - and I have to spend time sitting as well. I can bring my own lounge clothes and pajamas -- WOOT WOOT!!

I may have to breakdown and buy a crappy ass pair of crocs -- they say slip on shoes so you don't have to bend to get your shoes on to walk... please tell me - anyone else have something better to recommend?!

I also have to drink 1.5 oz of water over HALF AN HOUR, then they do it again and you take 15 minutes, then 10, then 3 to 5minutes... they say this is your going rate then... basically no crazy gulping down water - or like a funnel, it may 'overflow' -- read: Kate pukeys.

Before I am released (just there overnight) -- I have to get another chest xray w contrast to make sure everything looks good... fun fun...

Post surgery I am all liquid - 60g protein via shakes a day... they gave us some 'creative' ideas on that... and cue the '200 protein shake recipes' I bought off ebay for $3! The dr tells you when you can actually begin going 'mushy' -- at least a week out - possibly longer...

OK - that's all I can muster -- work calls!